One Man’s Quest for
True Love in NYC
Introduction
Modern dating kinda sucks. We both know it–and if you’re as tired of it as I am, then you’re definitely in the right place. So, let’s talk about it. I’ve met my fair share of “okay” cupids. I’ve been stung by Bumble, burned by Tinder, and frankly, I’m feeling just a little bit un-Hinged.
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Love’s a game. Wanna play?
On standard dating apps, I have about 500 characters (or less) to try to differentiate myself from every other guy living in New York City. So, I thought I’d take matters into my own hands, and try something a little bit crazy. And that’s how I ended up here.
About Me
I’m the kind of person who will always take the upper level of the GWB rather than the lower level, because to me, there’s nothing more magical than the New York City skyline. You won’t find me with my head buried in my phone while riding the subway–but instead observing people, and offering a smile–especially if someone looks like they’re having a rough day.
At a party, I’m the one working the room–making sure everyone is laughing and having a good time. I’ll turn down an IPA, but jump on a good sour beer, or better, a good cocktail. I definitely love going out to eat, but I’m just as likely to whip up a scratch meal right from my kitchen. When I’m making my way downtown, Uber is a last resort, and you’ll almost always catch me walking or taking the subway instead.
Age: 35
Sex: Male
Orientation: Straight
Location: Upper East Side, NYC
Education: Master’s Degree
Occupation: Advertising Professional
Height: 5’7”
Zodiac: Aries
Myers-Briggs Type: ENFJ
Religion: Atheism/Agnostic
Origins: New England
I’ve never really been a fan of meeting people in bars or clubs, and my friends (bless their hearts) adore me, and would love to see me settle down, but they aren’t exactly the world’s greatest matchmakers. Besides, I work in advertising, and so it seems appropriate that I’d be able to sell myself, right? I’m seeking someone who can pass the “supermarket test”. And since some of you are going to ask what the hell that is…
THE SUPERMARKET TEST IS MY OWN PERSONAL BAROMETER TO GAUGE LONG-TERM COMPATIBILITY WITH A PARTNER. SIMPLY PUT, IT IS AN ARBITRARY MEASUREMENT THAT EXAMINES THE ABILITY OF A PERSON TO MAKE SOMETHING EVEN AS BORING & MUNDANE AS, SAY, GROCERY SHOPPING AT THE SUPERMARKET A FUN & MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE.
I also sometimes refer to this as the DMV test, but as luck would have it, a Google search usually returns a lot of unrelated results. I digress…
What good are #relationshipgoals, if you aren’t searching for someone who will help you achieve them? I live my life in a very “work hard, play hard” sense, and I’m looking for someone who does the same.
I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl, saying “OH MY GOD, date me”.